Sometimes I have a rather wild imagination.
Last night I couldn’t fall asleep because I decided I would have no idea what I would do if the following situation were to occur.
I am babysitting an obese toddler and I HAVE to go grocery shopping, I put him in the cart and his weight causes the cart to topple over immediately snapping his femurs in half. (FYI, I don’t babysit, I don’t know any obese toddlers, and I rarely go to the grocery store). Right now I’m terrified to put any type of baby in a cart. If/when we have kids I will likely have to have my groceries delivered via PeaPod, or fill up the cart with heavy items before I put said baby in to balance out the weight. I’m pretty sure if this were possible it would have happened to someone already, and I would’ve heard about it, and since I haven’t it seems quite impossible, but still logical enough to keep me awake at night.
Other fears perpetually running through my mind are :
- Falling and knocking out all my teeth.
- Laying on my stomach on the floor with my toes curled under me (like I was going to do a push-up) and having someone step on the back of my foot inverting all my toes and having them all break at once.
- Being in a terrible accident where my right hand had to be amputated. Would I use a left-handed mouse? Would I keep the standard mouse so that I wasn’t inept at using other people’s computers, and just move it to the left side? Most importantly, how would I shave my right armpit? What if I wasn’t married? Would I have to hire someone as my armpit shaver? How much would you pay that person? Do I just have one hairy arm-pit all the time?
So many questions, so little time.